Alien vs. Predator: Requiem

Not a good film. Maybe one of the worst I've seen. Question: Why did Reiko Aylesworth (Michelle from 24) feel the need to be in this film? She is better than this.

In fact, most people are better than this. It is distinctly poor. I don't know who thought it was a good idea. I'm listening to part of the director's commentary now while I finish this off, and I'm shocked that they wanted to associate themselves with this film any more than they already have. It's awful. I can't say anything good about it.

Apparently there were a lot of things they couldn't do due to budget. Like the Predator's arm being melted off by acid. That would be cool. These guys sound like 12-year-olds. They're fucking idiots. The subtext of this film is that the humans are even more lethal than the monsters, because they nuke the town.

I don't get what is good about this. I actually quite enjoyed AvP, but this is ridiculously poor. I don't know how write anything even remotely cerebral about it, because I seem to have one of those stream of consciousness type things going.

Oh, they wanted a different ending where the Special Forces mow down the survivors (for no reason; not even as logical as NotLD or Cabin Fever). How awesome that would be! Now it's gone all very military and setting up AvP3. Woo!

People should stop making these films. It's unnecessary. I have an idea. Give Dario Argento some money. Give Wes Craven some money. Give John Carpenter some money. Give George A. Romero some money. Just give good horror directors money, and let them make films that they want to make. If a film is clearly a horror, kids are going to go see it, and if it is a good horror, as we would expect from any of the guys I mentioned, then people could enjoy them.

AvP:R has an IMDb score of 5.0. I gave it a 3. I just don't see anything good about it. It isn't shocking, because there are a couple of decent moments. However, a couple of decent moments do not a good movie make. For one thing, what happened to lighting? Do these guys know what it is? I watched the majority of this in a pitch black room, and I struggled to see what was going on. Is that water or blood? Is that an Alien or a Predator? A Predalien or a Predator? A man or an Alien? Man or Predalien? Dog or Facehugger? Wall or tree? Horse or mouse? House or Morse? Really guys, sort it out. Set it in somewhere white, like in AvP. Or even better, get the National Guard to set up floodlights.

Also, this isn't directed solely at this film, but it certainly applies here. What is with the stupid editing? When I see a fight scene, I want to see a fight scene, not close-ups of faces, hands, bodies, weapons, blood, faces, quick long shot, wound, weapon, et cetera. Get your camera, put it in your hand, tell the actors to act, stand near them and zoom in and out as you please, keep them in focus, make sure they are well lit, and let the scene play out. I don't want to see any more of this shoddy editing which only serves to keep the film at a PG13 rating because we don't really see any fucking violence. Incidentally, I don't know if this was PG13 or R, but I don't care because it was shite.

I'm quite angry now.